Monday, February 2, 2015

This girl can

I often write about the stigma of being a fat chick.  Clothes either make me feel like I'm stuffed in a sausage casing or I'm wearing styles created by Omar the tent maker (as my dad used to say).  It's not like I sit around all day either, even if there are days when I do that.  I run, I ride my bike, I go to the gym and work with a trainer, I walk and, in short, I am an active woman.

But that doesn't mean people will restrain themselves from their views on "what's wrong" with me.  If I only gave up this food or worked a little harder or whatever.  I have had intelligent women make comments to me, often starting with, "Don't take this the wrong way...." before they thank me for be a "real sized woman" who is a good role model.  What the hell is a "real sized woman" any way?  Seriously?

I often tell the story of two 20-something waif-like chippies in the locker room loudly opining I should be embarrassed to be seen at the gym because I was so old and fat.  (I stuck my head out from around the corner and reminded them I was fat, not deaf, to their dismay.)  It's something women like me face on a regular basis.  I realize that fat people aren't naturally jolly, we develop a sense of humor to deal with ignorant twits we run into all the time.

Then my sister in law posted a link to this on facebook:


Last summer a friend and I were out and we saw a young woman who was easily a "plus sized" woman.  She was wearing a tight tank top and short shorts and she was laughing and happy and confident.  I sighed and said, "I wish I had her confidence to dress like that."

My friend agreed.  That young woman is my hero and she will probably never know that.

I do make an effort to eat healthy, ice cream will always be my Achilles heel and I will probably shed some weight only so I can start running a faster mile.  But the truth is, the next time someone judges me, it will be a struggle to remember that I'm OK as I am.  But this girl can, and does, all the time.

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