Monday, October 12, 2015

Start strong?

Today is the Tufts 10k.

If you are out there and see a woman struggling along wearing either of these shirts, as I haven't decided which one yet, shout out a little encouragement.  I could probably use it.

I haven't run since August due to an aggravated C8/T1 nerve where the neck meets the spine that left me curled up in pain and whimpering.  I have been in physical therapy since the beginning of September to deal with this and it's finally subsided to a point where I have been cleared to run and have gone out for "runs" (read: walks where I occasionally burst into a canter and then settle back into a walk).

The past few days I have waffled about doing this but it comes down to this: I'm scared.  I'm scared of being hurt or injured again.  I'm scared that I can't do this anymore and if I can't do this, then what do I do?  I'm scared of so many things including being the last person across as they break down the finish line.  Which is why I need to do this.

There will be no support crew for me.  No Pi holding up a "Run for the cookie" sign at the finish for me.  No husband filming me crossing the finish line (even though I always ask him NOT to film it, just snap photos because no woman wants to see herself jiggling like a bowl of jello).  No running buddies or friends.

Just me.

It's all so scary, but it's important that I do this.  To face my fears and remind myself that, even if I walk the whole way, that I am capable of doing this and so much more.

Today is a day to "start strong, finish stronger" according to the Tufts 10k motto.  I don't know about starting strong, but I know when I finish I will at least feel stronger.

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